PART 1- Do we ever forget?
How easy is it for a person to apologise for their mistakes?
Also, are apologies even legit?
We accept it sometimes and the other times we don’t even want to hear it out.
We get to hear it sometimes but we don’t want to accept it.
Sometimes, we don’t want to say that “It’s okay”.
But in the end we still forgive people, for our own mental peace; as those people matter way more than our hurt.
No, we still don’t want their “sorry”.
Honestly, if ever I did anything wrong to anyone I would never be able to forgive myself and neither would I forget it.
What if I am the person who I’ve done something wrong to?
PART 2- Making myself stronger?
I read a Book three months back, named The Apology by Eve Ensler.
How did I come across this novel?
I follow a journalist on Instagram. She posted a story of her husband’s bookshelf. I am too fond of bookshelves. Anyway, somehow this novel caught my eye. I read about its author along with an excerpt from the book. She’s famous for her play,“The Vagina Monologues“.
I came to know that this novel is based on her real life incidents. It’s about Physical abuse, since she was 5; which in turn leads to mental abuse. It’s an apology written to her, from her father’s perspective; the apology which she never received from him while he was still alive.
I would surely recommend people to read it!
I am not the person who could read about such matters and not cry. Crying comes a bit easy to me. Pretty much sensitive for that.
I was at a friends place when I read it. It took me few hours to finish reading it.
I turned around and I started crying. He couldn’t understand how did I end up crying.
He said that why do you read such topics which you cannot digest. But then, he also said ‘it’s good that you read it’ and told me few stories regarding abuse; wherein I still couldn’t share mine.
I didn’t tell him, that prior to this too the novel that I was reading included a character who was sexually abused in her early teenage. I read these two novels in continuation, so tears were results of both, though the former was fiction.
I want to make myself strong enough to read about such sensitive topics one day, even if not today; someday!
Most of the times we have to live without the apologies! Things you feel are wrong, other person might not even think of it as worth saying sorry for.
I strongly believe that we should never do or say anything just for the sake of it. If we don’t mean to apologise from the core of our heart, we shouldn’t do it. Period.
It was decided long back that I would continue reading and watching such stories, till one day when I would stop shedding tears over those.
PS: I have Part 3 and 4 ready to be posted, but I decided not today. Might post it when my heart agrees to it.