Presents!

I get very excited when it comes to gifting anything to my loved ones on their special days.
Even more excited when I have so many thoughts about what to gift them. That’s when I’m sure that I really know this person.
I had been making gifts for my friends from quite a long time now. But there have been 2 such gifts that I’ve made up till now that literally did justice and I remember how happy I was while making them.
I am quite fond of handmade gifts.
Buying an apt gift is also not that easy, but making a gift all by yourself takes a lot of effort and an ample amount of time. You gotta love that person enough and have a lot of patience too, else a lazy person like me would never be able to make anything for anyone.

First is the Harry Potter themed glass bottle.
I never expected that the end result would be this good. I decorated 2 more glass bottles, would post a picture of them too.
This gift brought a smile to my roommates face and also enlightened the room.
What else would I need?
For her to take it with her when she left, but she did not.
I’m slightly possessive about the handmade gifts that I make for anyone.
I’m not expecting them to keep it in a safe. But I want them to keep it. That’s it.
When I see that they don’t take care of such things. Least I could do is stop giving them anything. We are still great friends but no more handmade gifts for you. 🙂

*Imagine Harry Potter’s theme music in the background*

Second is the jigsaw puzzle that I made-
I like to call it my masterpiece 🙂
It is by far the best thing that I’ve ever made.
I had so many ideas for this puzzle, but I chose these 3.
He introduced me to all these movies or series.

  • In Bruges” inspired drawing. One of the best movies with the best soundtrack.
  • Inspired from one of the episodes from “The Office” where Pam makes a sketch of Dwight and he goes around and sticks it in the entire area without realising that it’s his own sketch.
  • Our favourite character from “Final Space“.
    Tribore Menendez.
    Does he have six eyes? Yes he has.

Hoping that atleast he keeps it nicely.

Does any of you think that hadmade gifts are the most elite gift items? Even if it’s just a small card, does not have to be anything huge. Let me know in the comments below.

Change!

I am not a person who is fond of changes in life.

There was this one change in my life that I wanted real bad though!
And that was moving to a new city.
I was living in the same city for like 23 years of my life.
I was aware that it would only be real, if I ever got a job and luckily I got one after college.
I just wanted to stay on my own, earn money on my own. That’s it. No huge plans.
I love my family but I also liked the idea of being independent and having a sense of freedom.

Then there was a change in people I was living with, they moved to different cities and then I had to live alone. That was the real one that I had to cope up with.
Your roommates become an integral part of your life and you don’t even realise it till the day you part ways.
I really don’t make emotional bonds with people so easy. It’s a huge task to let them know me.

Change in friendships hurt me a lot. The bonds that seemed strong are no more the same.
I am aware that we can just maintain a certain amount of people in our lives at a point of time. Few that you can count on your fingertips, only those are important in your life. (I hope you imagine atleast 5 people while reading this).
Least that we can do is be happy for them wherever they are and accept the change.

Changes are necessary for you to grow, one can fear it a little but shouldn’t run away from it.
Who knows, maybe, that’s the change you were looking for from all this time.
It’s easier said than done, I know.

Also, I’ve decided I won’t be reading any romantic novels this year and explore some other genres. That’s one small change I am heading towards. What is that one change you are looking for this year?

PS: Keep watching the stars, at least they would never change. 😉

Chasing the rising sun.

The best sunrise that I’ve ever seen was in Pondicherry.
A place that I wish to go back to; someday.

I agree that every sunrise would be perfect in its own way. I won’t lie, I haven’t seen many! (Waking up that early is a task for me).
Also, I haven’t traveled to many places either.

Back then in 2016, a day before all of us who went for the trip decided at night that we’d go to the sunrise point the next morning.
Every tourist place has it right? I mean that’s what it is called.
But then, there were few sleepy heads who couldn’t wake up that early.
So it was just 6 or 7 of us who decided to go to Serenity Beach that morning.
The excitement to goto that beach was a little too much in me, though I am a night owl and not at all a morning person.
But everytime I go to a trip, I don’t feel like sleeping. I just want to explore that place as much as I can.
Speaking for real; I just wanna be woke; atleast somewhere.

It felt so good, to chase the sun in that traveller.
None of us wanted to miss it.
(That driver was one of my friends favourite! I know! We are no more in touch though.)
One of us was constantly checking the clock as we were slightly behind the time.
If you’ve ever been to Pondicherry then you know that all the places are quite near.
It might sound silly, but then I know that my choice to wake up early that day was absolutely correct.
See, because I have a clear memory of that perfect sunrise.
No hope no harm, as I woke up early with just one alarm. 😛
There was sheer happiness in my eyes and I still feel good when I think about that day.


Someone who’s a beggar of pretty skies.

Going back in time.

No matter what I say, I know that human relationships matter a lot to me. Maybe that’s why I somehow distance myself from people who matter to me. I am, mostly, scared of getting hurt.

Nevertheless, I have a story of a night from more than a year ago which I remembered so profoundly yesterday and I want to vent it somewhere.

Last night I was listening to a song (Ghar- by Piyush Mishra), which now I’m in love with. I ended up remembering the first time a friend made me listen to it. He not just makes you listen to a song, rather he explains it.

I was in a cab, returning back from the office.
He called and asked me if I’d like to join him at a place nearby. He was already there, drinking.
My subconscious mind refused to go.
No particular reason, but I was in no mood to drink and was tired.
Instead, I asked him who’s there with him and he said, “No one.”
I instantly said I’m coming.
The only reason I went there that night was because that idiot was sitting there all alone, drinking. I was never a person who leaves her friends alone.

It was a good place with a nice view. We could see the moon from where we were seated.
He made me listen to many songs that night, he still does. I always tell him, that I don’t like songs by listening to them just once. I take my time to develop my likings, then be it for anything. I don’t think he even knows that half of my playlists consists of his recommended songs.

He has a habit of recommending movies too.
He asked me to watch “Pyaasa” that one time.
I added it to my list but never watched it.
Instead I saw “Kagaz ke Phool” that night after reaching home.
I had a feeling that there’ll be a day when I would want to watch that movie he recommended.

Also, while going back home, he told me about his family issues, I listened, just like I always do.
I never pity him and nobody should. Rather I feel good when I see him trying to do better each day and not giving up despite his surroundings being so ugly.
He reached home and told me that I should forget whatever he said that time. I said I’d never tell anyone and I still haven’t. I am not sure if he talks about his issues to everyone.
Wish I could tell him that I care and that I’d always be there.

So, last night I ended up seeing that movie (Pyaasa-1957).
I believe it was way ahead of its time. Amazing story, wonderful music, about a struggling poet and how people are treated differently when they get fame. When a person is dead, people value them way more than when they are alive.
Last 20 mins of the movie are so sentimental and it tells how cruel and selfish people around you could be.
At certain moments, it ends up making you feel sad and see the reality of life. I love these kind of movies.

क्युकी, ये दुनिया अगर मिल भी जाये तो क्या हैं?

Also, yesterday while listening to that song and watching that movie, I certainly missed that night with him.
I am not even sure if I could call it a beautiful night.

Rather than telling him I’m posting it here.
Because now, I don’t even know if he remembers it.

The entire lyrics of the song are very heartfelt. Ending this blog with just one line below-

लेकिन मेरी बात इक याद रखना, मुझको हमेशा ही हाँ साथ रखना!

How to become a memory.

A screenshot saved in the gallery,

A movie ticket neatly folded and tucked away in the wallet,

A tiny bruise which left a faint mark on your body,

A photograph hidden for you to see every night,

A date circled on the calender of your mind that you remember so profoundly,

You skip songs like you skip meals.

Mostly, there are several moments etched in your heart, waiting for you to let go.

Letting go and holding on depends upon you, just you. It’s not the memories that bring you sorrow, it’s the idea of not being able to live them again; over and over again.

Photograph!

Flashes of Memories,
Taking away all my worries.
Capturing all our laughs,
My heart, keeps sane with a photograph.

All I am content with, is kindness.
Pictures bringing back my fondness.
Yearning to be with you,
As you are, my sky in blue.

I looked so happy as a child,
Nobody knows, I was always defiled.
Emotions too strong,
Now, everything seems wrong.

We were once singing Breathless,
Now, the night looks endless.
Holding the picture in my sight; every night,
I know, I’ll somehow sleep alright.

I get that nothing lasts,
Tell me, is that some spell that you’ve cast?
I have stopped writing you paragraphs,
Because darling, I’m keeping my heart sane with a photograph.

Happy Birthday Papa!

When was the last time I showed my affection towards my father?
I can’t recall.
Because I never do.

He is amongst the ones that I love and adore the most.

I always fall short of words when my love towards a person is enormous.

I know and I understand that he has done many sacrifices in his life; to give us this life.
Whatever we are today is the result of his hardwork.
Even at this age he’d continue doing so to provide livelihood to us.
He’s seen the hardest of times, I know.
But, he never says anything regarding it, I know that too.
I’ve never seen him giving up on anything.
He is the strongest pillar of our family.

Also, I think, not showing much affection is kind of hereditary. Don’t we always say that love is to be seen in the smallest of gestures and not in something loud.
He is making us midnight tea from past two days.

If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

My mom always says, “Like Father Like Daughter”.
Well, I take it as a compliment. 😉

Happy 58th Birthday Papa! 🙂


Keep your big laughs and high fives coming. ❤️

The Apology!

PART 1- Do we ever forget?

How easy is it for a person to apologise for their mistakes?
Also, are apologies even legit?
We accept it sometimes and the other times we don’t even want to hear it out.
We get to hear it sometimes but we don’t want to accept it.
Sometimes, we don’t want to say that “It’s okay”.
But in the end we still forgive people, for our own mental peace; as those people matter way more than our hurt.
No, we still don’t want their “sorry”.
Honestly, if ever I did anything wrong to anyone I would never be able to forgive myself and neither would I forget it.

What if I am the person who I’ve done something wrong to?

PART 2- Making myself stronger?

I read a Book three months back, named The Apology by Eve Ensler.
How did I come across this novel?
I follow a journalist on Instagram. She posted a story of her husband’s bookshelf. I am too fond of bookshelves. Anyway, somehow this novel caught my eye. I read about its author along with an excerpt from the book. She’s famous for her play,“The Vagina Monologues“.
I came to know that this novel is based on her real life incidents. It’s about Physical abuse, since she was 5; which in turn leads to mental abuse. It’s an apology written to her, from her father’s perspective; the apology which she never received from him while he was still alive.

I would surely recommend people to read it!

I am not the person who could read about such matters and not cry. Crying comes a bit easy to me. Pretty much sensitive for that.

I was at a friends place when I read it. It took me few hours to finish reading it.
I turned around and I started crying. He couldn’t understand how did I end up crying.
He said that why do you read such topics which you cannot digest. But then, he also said ‘it’s good that you read it’ and told me few stories regarding abuse; wherein I still couldn’t share mine.

I didn’t tell him, that prior to this too the novel that I was reading included a character who was sexually abused in her early teenage. I read these two novels in continuation, so tears were results of both, though the former was fiction.

I want to make myself strong enough to read about such sensitive topics one day, even if not today; someday!

Most of the times we have to live without the apologies! Things you feel are wrong, other person might not even think of it as worth saying sorry for.

I strongly believe that we should never do or say anything just for the sake of it. If we don’t mean to apologise from the core of our heart, we shouldn’t do it. Period.

It was decided long back that I would continue reading and watching such stories, till one day when I would stop shedding tears over those.

PS: I have Part 3 and 4 ready to be posted, but I decided not today. Might post it when my heart agrees to it.

The one who Listens.

She’s always been a “Listener” of the group.
Always aware of each of her friends whereabouts.
What’s going on in their life,
What are they happy about and all of their sorrows too; she knows everything.
She thinks they sometimes need a person to just hear out their thoughts, and she does that without any judgment; Always.

She doesn’t even give any advice at times, but listens carefully to what they have to convey.
She knows, it’s not always obligatory to comment on what the other person is trying to express. At times they just want someone to pay close attention to their talks rather than telling them if they’re right or wrong.

She’s good at keeping secrets too. When anyone shares something with her in confidence, she keeps it to herself, and never shares it with another person. Obviously some things she did to a close confidant, but not the ones which were really personal to them. If she had any secrets, she would have never shared those with anyone; honestly.

But, that’s what Friends are for, right?
She’ll be all ears for them, invariably.

In this world full of gossip, a Good Listener deserves a little appreciation.

As John Green rightly quoted in Paper Towns,

“I would do nothing for a lifetime but listen”

Friday- Fear of the approaching weekend!

I am never happy on a Friday.

Most people who are working professionals, that’s the only day they are awaiting, right?
I mean, why shouldn’t they?

More of the reason I don’t like it is because people around me were just making their weekend plans. I don’t make plans often.
I don’t want to be included in theirs either.
But there’s this grim feeling for the approaching weekend.

Many a times on Monday’s, my teammate would ask me.. So, what did you do this weekend? Me trying to avoid that question entirely, with a slight smile I would always say that “I read a novel, watched a movie and slept (A lot)” . Honestly, those were and are the only things that I would be doing on a weekend or moreover be washing my clothes.
Eventually he stopped asking me. Thank God for that, but, is it not because I am boring and not full of life or whatever that’s called?

Not that it matters to me much, as I intend to keep my weekends simple and also I am not someone who enjoys partying all the time. But I don’t like to be poked regarding that either.
Peer pressure of going out is what I don’t want.
If I choose to do something apart from my regulars, that has to be my own choice.

It’s not that I didn’t like going out with my friends or just wanted to be indoors all the time, but I surely was maintaining “social distance” way before this pandemic. That’s surely helping me now.

Anyway, why was it so necessary to have “weekend plans” all the time back then?

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